


No Body, No Crime

by SSA_A



Series: The Family That I Chose [7]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: (very briefly but nothing bad happens), BAU as family, Drinking, Jealous Aaron Hotchner, Non-Binary Spencer Reid, Non-Consensual Touching, Not Beta Read, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Protective David Rossi, Protective Derek Morgan, Protective Emily Prentiss, Protective Jennifer “JJ” Jareau, Protective Penelope Garcia, Shovel Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:54:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29466078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SSA_A/pseuds/SSA_A
Summary: Or a 5 +1 of the times that the BAU gave Aaron the shovel talk and the one time they all saw how in love they were.
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid
Series: The Family That I Chose [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2161950
Comments: 7
Kudos: 78





	No Body, No Crime

**Author's Note:**

> The first four are short, but i wasn't really sure how to write them, but I hope you like it anyway.
> 
> Title obviously from Taylor Swift.

1\. Rossi 

Aaron was not really expecting to be cornered in his office by Dave and he definitely was not expecting to have a finger pointed at him with a threatening glare. He sat back in his seat as Dave stayed standing. 

“It has been a few weeks now and I think this thing you have with the Kid could be something.” Aaron nodded, he didn’t know what to say so stayed quiet. “So if you hurt them in any way, physically, mentally or emotionally I will kill you. I do not care if you are my closest friend.” 

“I would never hurt Spencer.” Aaron was about to say more but Dave cut him off with a look. 

“That Kid deserves to be happy. Make them happy. If you don’t just remember I know how to get away with murder.” He left with that and Aaron stayed in his seat, he didn’t expect that at all but he was glad someone other than himself was wanting Spencer to be happy and safe. 

2\. Morgan

Aaron was expecting Morgan to phone him, he was also waiting for the others but Spencer’s best friend was first obviously. So when the younger man told him they needed to talk Aaron agreed and they set a lunch meeting for the next day. It had only been a few days since they caught them in the elevator so he knew they would still be protective of Spencer. 

The next morning Aaron was slightly nervous, he knew he shouldn’t be but the team were his family and he didn’t want them to think he was hurting Spencer in any way. Lunch finally arrived and with it a knock on his office door which he stood to open and there Derek Morgan was standing with a glare. 

“Come in.” Aaron let Morgan choose a seat before he sat behind his desk and the two stared at each other, both were Alpha Males and would want the other to break first so Aaron gave him that. “I can guess what this is about.” 

“I bet you can.” Morgan stood up and Aaron stared at him again, waiting for the threats. “I want honest answers from you.”

”Of course.” Aaron leaned forward and waited for Morgan to ask him the first question 

“You aren't forcing them are you?” Aaron blanched at the idea of forcing himself on Spencer.

”No. We have talked and it is all consensual.” Morgan nodded at that before he leaned forward and glared at him.

”Do you love them?” Aaron was slightly taking back from the question but pulled himself together after a second.

”Yes.” He looked out towards the bullpen where Emily and Spencer were laughing about something and he smiled. 

“Spencer is the kindest person on this team, and if you ever try and take advantage of that then all of us are very capable of getting rid of you. I will ruin your life and I would not even blink twice. Is that clear?” 

“Yes. If I ever hurt them then you can kill me or ruin my life.” Morgan seemed to be slightly surprised at that but he nodded and left the room without another word and Aaron let out a sigh, he knew it was going to happen but still were they all going to tell him?

3\. Garcia

He honestly wasn’t expecting Garcia to be the next one, he had money on JJ, but when he walked back into his office a file was sitting there on his desk. He opened it carefully, not really sure what it would be before he let out a small laugh. 

It was pictures of Aaron in the building and around the city, the angle was definitely from security cameras and he only knew two people who could hack them for this kind of thing and he was dating one of them. 

He flicked through the photos before he spotted some pink paper sticking out and he picked it out and read the words carefully. 

_I hope you remember how I got this job. One click and I will ruin your entire life. Remember that._

He put the paper back down and looked at the photos again, he knew it wasn’t a light threat, Garcia could ruin his entire life and would not think twice if he hurt Spencer. He placed the folder in his drawer before going back to the work he needed to finish. 

4\. JJ

Aaron was waiting for the last two in the team to talk to him, he was almost hoping for it to be JJ since he was curious about what she would threaten him with. He got his wish when she walked in right after Spencer dropped the coffee off one morning and he looked up to her with a knowing look. 

“You know why I am here and I’m not going to threaten you like the others.” Aaron hummed, a new one then. “You know Spencer, they are the sweetest person on this team and they have been dealt a shitty hand in life so far. I can also see how happy they are with you and I can see how happy you are so you are going to keep them happy and you are going to keep yourself happy or I can make your life hell.”

“I have already given you all permission to ruin my life if I ever hurt Spencer.” He looks out the office window to see his partner playing with a pen and he smiles. 

“Oh I won’t ruin your life, I will remind you every day of the pain you caused them until you break down.” She paused before continuing. “You will be forced to look at them every day and remember how happy they were before you hurt them.” 

Aaron wasn’t sure if that was worse than the death threats but JJ left before he could really think it over. He stayed standing for a little bit, eyes following Spencer as they played and worked at their desk.

5\. Prentiss

It was at Dave’s for dinner when Prentiss cornered them for her turn. She was pointing at him, walking closer so he was backed into the wall behind him before she finally spoke. 

“You hurt them and I will show you the ways I can torture a human. I have techniques that would make you be begging for death and I will keep you alive just enough so you can see how hurt Spencer is and it will be your fault.” 

Aaron swallowed at the threat, so far this one was the one that actually scared him the most. Maybe it was because he knew Emily had serious anger issues and he did not want to be on the wrong end of that or because she really could torture him and she would probably laugh at him. 

“I would never hurt them. I love them.” Emily nodded at that and moved away, heading back into the room with everyone else. Aaron stayed in the hall for a few seconds, thinking over the threats and grinning, he would never hurt Spencer but at least they had people to back them if he ever did anything.

+1. 

They were on a night off, well a night off together since Spencer had been teaching at the Academy for a week, and instead of going to Rossi’s they decided to go to a bar instead. Spencer was the designated sober person for them all but they didn’t mind, they weren’t a fan of drinking anyway. 

They didn’t know what to wear, they weren’t ready to wear a dress in public but they really wanted to see Aaron’s face when they wore the really short red one, they could already imagine the sex when Aaron finally saw it. 

In the end they decided on a flowy, pale pink shirt that made them look slightly more feminine, they also picked out the perfect pair of jeans that made their ass look spectacular. They made sure to keep the makeup light, a little bit of mascara, a blush and a small bit of clear lip gloss. They were ready. 

As they settled on their bed, already missing Aaron and Jack’s noise, they looked into one of the only mirrors in their apartment. They looked good but they were almost scared of how Aaron would react to them going in public like this, and as a couple with the team. Okay, they weren’t almost scared, they were terrified at the idea of Aaron leaving when he realized he could do so much better than them.

Their phone went off and they opened it to a text from JJ and Garcia telling them that their taxi was turning the corner into their street. Spencer looked themself over once more before grabbing a small bag and leaving the apartment, locking up behind them. 

They made their way to the street, watching as a taxi pulled up right beside them and the door opened to JJ looking them up and down. 

“You look gorgeous. Now get in.” Spencer obeyed the words, sliding into the taxi and trying not to think about the germs everywhere. 

“You two look amazing. Pen how did you get your eyeliner like that?” Spencer stared in awe at them both, they looked so much better than them. 

“Blood, Sweat, Tears and a little demonic sacrifice on the side. But have you seen yourself? If I didn’t know better I would say you were trying to get laid.” Spencer blushed and did not answer that, sure they would love to but they also liked spending time with Aaron and the others outside of work. 

“You are! Hotch might not survive the night if you look like that and want him.” JJ was laughing quietly and Spencer frowned at them both, were they going to get teased a lot? As if reading their mind JJ stopped laughing and looked at them. “If you don’t want us to make jokes we can stop.”

“It’s okay. I knew they would happen.” They started to tap their leg, a small beat being played on their thigh as JJ and Pen watched them. 

“So. We need a Girls and Queer night again, interested?” Spencer nodded, they would like a night with just the girls again. 

“Ohhh! I’ll make cookies again.” Spencer was about to say something but their phone dinged and they opened it to see a message from Aaron, they didn’t even read it because Pen was cooing at them. “Is it from Loverboy? You always smile when he texts you, or looks at you, or when you think about him.” 

Spencer blushed at that but JJ laughed and spoke as well. “Or when Hotch wears that one suit, why is that Spence?” Spencer buried their face in their hands, no one needed to know why they blushed at Aaron in that suit. “I mean I could guess but then Girls and Queer night would be boring, you need to tell us everything.” 

“Why?” They still hadn’t read Aaron’s message but JJ and Pen were laughing at their red face. “A hate crime, I’m telling my boss.” 

“Hotch would just laugh. Now are you going to answer him before he hunts you down?” Spencer rolled their eyes but did open the message to see a photo of Aaron and Jack, smiling at the camera with a short message under it. 

_ We missed you. Well, Jack missed your cooking.  _

Spencer let out a small laugh before they typed out a reply and took a photo of the three of them. Smiling widely and sticking their tongue out just a bit to make Aaron remember what they had done a few nights ago. 

_ I missed you too. I can’t wait to see you tonight. Maybe we can ditch the others for a little bit _

They waited for the next text to come through, watching as the lights of the clubs and restaurants blurred past them and it was nice to see. 

_ I am sure we could. Now be good Baby _

_ I am always good, Sir.  _

They shut their phone at that, turning their attention to the two other who were talking about how drunk they would get, Spencer knew JJ didn’t get nights out much, she always had to worry about Will and Henry, but the two were down in New Orleans visiting Will’s family and JJ couldn’t get a lot of time off.

The taxi came to a stop in front of the bar and Spencer got out first, breathing in the fresh air before turning to see Penelope and JJ getting out and flattening their clothes; skirt for Pen, jeans for JJ. Although they both looked amazing and Spencer felt a little out of place beside them both.

“Are you two ready? I want to get a few drinks in before Hotch arrives and makes eyes at Spencer.” Spencer gasped at that, placing a hand on their chest but followed JJ into the bar, spotting Emily and Derek already drinking but Rossi was nowhere to be found. 

“Rossi said he is calling an Uber because he doesn’t want to, and I quote, ‘be seen in such a plain and basic thing like a taxi’ I am surprised he hasn’t pulled up in a limo.” Emily laughed as she spoke and Spencer shrugged, sounded like Rossi so they didn’t really question it.

“Drinks!” Penelope rushed over to them, carrying a tray of shots and Spencer took the bottle of water from her before they watched the others down a shot each. 

The two remaining members didn’t take long to arrive, Rossi had apparently picked up Aaron on his way, and Spencer looked their partner up and down a few times before they felt themself being pulled into a kiss by the man.

“Hey Love, how are you? Have I told you how good you look?” Spencer blushed at the compliment, trying to ignore it for a kiss but Aaron stopped them. “I mean this in the nicest way possible,” He moved closer to them, whispering only for them now, “I think they would look better on the bedroom floor.” 

“Aaron! You just got here,” Spencer pouted at their partner and tried not to think about what they would do in bed if they were there now. “Just get drunk you asshole.” 

“That wasn’t very nice.” Aaron was talking low again, using the same tone he used in bed and Spencer took a drink to try and make it seem like they weren’t about to drop to their knees for him. “I’ll grab you a lemonade. I’ll be right back, Love.” 

Aaron left the group as he walked over to the bar and Spencer tried to ignore their red cheeks, turning their attention to the group who were talking between each other. Something about a bet they had, Spencer didn’t really care to be honest but they liked being out with them all. 

They felt a body beside them and they smiled, but when the person grabbed their ass they turned around with wide eyes. Aaron would not do that. As they turned they realized it wasn’t Aaron and their throat narrowed at the idea of being touched by this person. 

“Hey baby. How about we go out back?” Spencer went to move but the person was holding their arm, they could feel their team watching and moving but before Derek could do anything Aaron was pushing between them and the person. 

“Who are you? And why were you touching my partner.” The person had to look up at Aaron and that seemed to scare them a little bit so Spencer could relax slightly, Aaron was safe, Aaron would take care of them. 

“He was giving me eyes all night. And I didn’t see you when I was there.” Spencer let out a noise of surprise, they had not been looking at the person at all, they didn’t even know where they had been sitting.

“I find that hard to believe. Now get the fuck out of here.” Aaron shoved the person away, watching as they fell onto their back before scrambling up and moving to the bar. Aaron turned around to Spencer who was just staring up at him with a grin. 

“Thank you, my Dashing Knight saved me.” The team seemed to realize it was under control and went back to talking between each other, keeping an eye on the two though. “How can I repay you?” 

“That sounds like the start of every trashy porn. Are you okay?” Spencer nodded, moving into Aaron’s arms and smiling as he kissed their head. “I’m sorry that happened.” 

“You did nothing wrong. You helped me in the end and that is all that matters.” Aaron sighed, running his hand through their hair and Spencer moaned into his chest. “That isn’t fair.” 

“All is fair in love and war.” Spencer hummed and Aaron moved them so they were sitting in his lap both of them facing the group again who seemed to be exchanging money, most of it going to Emily and Penelope. 

“You two are far too sappy. Worse than my second wife.” Rossi took a drink as he spoke and Spencer just winked at him, feeling Aaron’s hand grip their waist a little tighter. “I need more drinks to deal with them.” Everyone chorused their agreements and Rossi went to but them more drinks as Aaron ran a hand up and down Spencer’s thigh and they closed their eyes, leaning back against Aaron’s chest.

“I don’t think we needed to give him the talk, I mean look, he would never harm Spencer.” Spencer cracked their eyes open at JJ’s voice and they looked at Aaron with a raised eyebrow. 

“They gave you the shovel talk?” Aaron nodded and Spencer laughed at him. “The idea of the Shovel Talk comes from the depiction of father and older brothers telling their daughter or sister's new partner that they had a gun and a shovel to hide the partner's body. However, it picked up popularity in many fandoms when Willow Rosenburg told Riley Finn ‘And remember, if you hurt her, I will beat you to death with a shovel’ in the hit show Buffy the Vampire Slayer.”

“I got a few death threats from them. Although I would never hurt you Baby, not unless you asked for it.” He finished the last bit off with a small bite to their neck and Spencer couldn’t lep the small moan from their lips. 

“Get a fucking room. God, I do not want to see that.” Spencer opened their eyes to see everyone staring and they had a small second of fear before they realized no one really cared, as long as they didn’t fuck in front of them probably.

“We will later.” Aaron was speaking to everyone and Spencer resisted the urge to drown themself in the water they were drinking but Emily just wolf-whistled and Aaron kissed their head again, and Spencer finally relaxed fully in the arms of their partner and their friends around them. 


End file.
